A Day in the Life of a Small Business Owner, According to Movies

by Brittany McSorley


cape cod marketing firm

9:46 am: The small business owner wakes up without an alarm and stretches gracefully. She takes a few moments to bask in the flattering light spilling in through the spotless windows of her cozy home in a small town where it’s always autumn.


10:04 am: The small business owner sips coffee from a steaming mug. She has donned a neutral sweater and is surrounded by throw pillows. Her laptop sits invitingly on the coffee table, but she shakes her head playfully in its direction, as if to say, “Not now, silly. Look at the size of this mug!”


10:58 am: Before heading out the door at a leisurely pace, the small business owner takes a look in the mirror. She looks perfectly approachable. She has a button nose. She’s wearing trendy glasses that she may take off later should the dramatic action call for it. Her name is Vanessa or Zoe or something.


11:16 am: Claire or whatever walks happily through the door of her small business. It’s a bakery or a bookstore; there are no other options. She greets her gaggle of incredibly attractive employees, all of whom must have arrived at a reasonable hour to open up, I guess?


12:03 pm: Over lunch (salad), Alice’s favorite employee, Handsome Mark, shares some troubling news. Either the bakery has to compete in an important pastry event, because Christmas is coming up, or the bookstore is about to go out of business, because Christmas is coming up. Distraught, Emily heads home to change into a more somber sweater. Handsome Mark watches her go, experiencing emotions.


1:42 pm: Charlotte walks through the town square, agonizing over what to do. Her phone rings for the first time all day. It’s her accountant! The phone call is challenging for both parties, because Emma doesn’t understand many of the terms being used. Frustrated, Grace decides to deal with all that business stuff later. She hangs up.


4:56 pm: After a hefty nap, Julie is reinvigorated. She heads back to her small business just as it’s closing, full of newfound enthusiasm for getting through the vague crisis Handsome Mark mentioned earlier. Also, her hair has looked amazing this entire time.


5:01 pm: Rebecca arrives at the small business minutes later, because her perfect apartment is really close. Handsome Mark, who has also changed sweaters, is wiping down a counter or something. “Lucy?” he asks attractively. “What are you doing back? I thought—” but Sophie interrupts him by kissing his perfectly symmetrical face with her own.


5:12 pm: It’s Christmas! Handsome Mark and Victoria are decorating a tree set against the front window of the small business. They wave happily to a group of white children passing by. They’ve sold enough books or made enough cupcakes to ward off the evil that was here. Olivia hasn’t paid taxes in six years. Her glasses are gone. All is well.