by Brittany McSorley
Despite the intricacies of working in social media marketing on Cape Cod, there’s an exception to every rule. There are a few surefire categories that people will always engage with online. These include photos of pets (good), ignorant political statements (bad), and all those weird national holidays that you have no idea about until someone shares a strange and peppy post about one.
You know the days I’m talking about. National Margarita Day (February 22nd) is a social media favorite of the high school classmates I now hide from in the grocery store when I’m home for Thanksgiving. My research indicates that nearly every day of the calendar year has an obscure national theme to go with it, with some days having several. August 20th, the most important day of the year, happens to be National Radio Day, National Lemonade Day, and National Chocolate Pecan Pie Day, a winning combination if I’ve ever heard one. And as I write this, it’s National Hamburger Day. Divine.
You can find out what strange concept you’re actually supposed to be celebrating on your most important days of the year here, or here. Below is a collection of the national days that caught my eye as I perused the lists.
January 18th is National Thesaurus Day (or whatever you want to call it).
February 28th is National Public Sleeping Day, which is every day if you have a big enough drinking problem.
March 8th is National Proofreading Day. This should be every day. Please stop sending stuff to print before I look at it.
April 4th is National Tell a Lie Day, which is every day if you’re my ex-boyfriend, [REDACTED].
May 15th is National Chocolate Chip Day. Important. Vital. Crucial. Treasured. Irreplaceable. A triumph. Five stars.
June 18th is International Panic Day, but in name only, because now we panic every day.
July 8th is National Video Games Day, which is every day if you’re 38 and live with your parents.
August 13th is International Left-Handers Day. The internet can’t decide between writing “lefthanders,” “left-handers,” or “left handers,” which tracks, because left-handed people thrive in chaos.
September 5th is National Be Late for Something Day, which is every day if you’re a terrible person.
October 16th is National Dictionary Day, National Thesaurus Day’s cousin whom everyone thinks its “boring” and “stuffy” and “prone to ruining rehearsal dinners,” but they’re just jealous.
The first Thursday of every November is National Make Men Dinner Day. I can only assume there is also a Pay Men Substantially More for No Reason Day, Allow Men to Interrupt You Day, and Congratulate a Man for Correctly Identifying a Feeling Without Yelling Day, all of which fall during Blindly Prioritize Men Forever Despite Overwhelming Evidence They Don’t Deserve It Week.
And December 8th is Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day, which is every day if you have a severe enough psychotic break.
