Tweets That Made Me Laugh So Hard I Snorted

by Brittany McSorley

Despite not having Twitter, I deeply love Twitter. It’s a beautiful enigma. Though it is a modern concept, it evokes for me the energy of a long-ago, simpler time when more people revered the written word. It launched in 2006, yet I treat it with the passionate nostalgia I typically reserve for J.D. Salinger’s short stories. (Hot take: The Catcher in the Rye is wildly meh compared to Salinger’s short stories. Yet everyone had to read Catcher in high school? Tomfoolery. An enormous waste. A blight on American academia. The stories are better. This is an objective fact. I won’t apologize.) Also, Nora Ephron would have absolutely killed it on Twitter. This is how I feel.

 

I do not use Twitter, because I am afraid of finding out I am not as clever as I suspect. I do, however, sometimes come across a tweet that is so perfect, so funny, so sparkly that I rock a classic snort-laugh. It’s the best. Here are a few such tweets.

 

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This is funny because it’s so achingly, inescapably true. HA!

 

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This is funny because it combines three terrifying things: guy in mask, online visibility, and LAUNDRY, AM I RIGHT? (This is why I don’t use Twitter.)

 

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This is funny because even though I’m too old for Euphoria and too young for Ellen, I haven’t stopped thinking about this for one second since I first read it.

 

 

This is funny because it makes me feel smart. I think that’s why this is funny.

 

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This is funny only because Gettysburg was long enough ago. I am floored by the dark precision of this choice of historical tragedy.

 

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This is funny because dogs are perfect, the end.

 

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This is funny because the generational divide regarding how everyone feels about phone calls is unfathomable. My mom is very good at sending me texts that say only, “Can I call you?” which immediately make me call her, trying my best to prepare for the death of a loved one as I time deep breaths with each ring, until she answers and launches into a detailed description of the most recent episode of Dateline. Which, yeah, I do want to know what happened on Dateline, but woof, Mom. Woof.

 

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This is so funny I cried real tears. I literally cannot read it without laughing, and it never gets less funny.

 

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See above.