by Brittany McSorley
In spite of everything, Thanksgiving is coming up. Granted, it will be a smaller gathering than usual for many of us, but if I know anything about America, I am confident in our ability to prepare and eat massive amounts of food, even in the face of adversity.
In that spirit, I’ve decided it’s time to say once and for all which traditional Thanksgiving foods correspond to our favorite social media platforms. Why? Because it’s November 5th and we could all use a distraction, okay? Get off my case. Here we go:
Facebook – Turkey
Facebook and turkey share an identity as the main event. The big man on campus. The head honcho. Also, they’re popular with older demographics. But most importantly, they’re both sort of boring compared to their peers. We definitely need the turkey, but if it’s the only thing on the menu, I’m staying home.
Instagram – Stuffing
Stuffing is to turkey as Instagram is to Facebook: its partner in crime, but definitely the cooler and more desirable of the pair. Sure, Facebook owns Instagram, and it has Stories now. But if you had to choose just one, it would be the Gram. Everyone knows stuffing is the true star of the show.
Twitter – Green Bean Casserole
Twitter is hearty, filling, and addictive. It offers a level of discourse that other platforms simply can’t achieve, and you can’t help but go back for more. Also, like green bean casserole, not everyone has Twitter.
LinkedIn – Roasted Vegetables
Serious. Professional. Boring but necessary if you’re emulating a certain lifestyle.
YouTube – Mashed Potatoes
Like mashed potatoes, YouTube is a fan favorite with a lot to offer. Both the dish and the platform are substantive and versatile, allowing you to find just what you’re looking for.
Reddit – Gravy
The gravy of the platforms, Reddit is hard to resist. Is it good for you all the time? Of course not, but today is special! You don’t want to get carried away, but then again, maybe you do.
WhatsApp – Cranberry Sauce
A favorite of family members with a lot to say.
TikTok – Pie
The platform with the biggest heart, TikTok is like pie: sweet, innocent, and a big draw for the kids.
A word to the wise: Despite the very accurate information above, it is not recommended to spend too much time actually using social media on family holidays.
